Talking It Out

I was going to start the Friday off with a Lovely Things post, but my head is just not in it today. Rather than pushing it just to get something out, I figured I’d have a one-sided discussion on communication (the irony is not lost on me, I promise).

I feel like the topic of communication has kept creeping up in my consciousness lately. A discussion on the communication between Lorelei and Luke during the latest season of Gilmore Girls, going to dinner with my mom and sister and talking for hours, discussing a lack of a coworker’s communication with my boss- this and so much more have happened just in a week’s time.

While I briefly alluded to working on my social skills on my 2017 Bucket List, communication is really the driving force in it all. I want to get better at listening and responding to those around me. But this week, like many before, has been so hard- I’m just so tired and all I want is to be home. I am looking at a weekend of exciting activities and being surrounded by people who will inevitably be interesting and interested in discussion, but I’m having a really hard time getting pumped for that right now.

Also, since my cousin has come to live with us, I’ve noticed how quiet of a family we are. Now dinners are much livelier, and we’re talking more than I ever realized was possible for a weeknight meal. I love it, and I want to work on this so it’s something we’ll have after my cousin leaves, but I know from my own childhood how easy it is to fall back into silence.

This isn’t just at the dinner table either, I am always surprised how much people have to say to their children while at the park, talking to them about everything under the sun while pushing their babies on swings. This isn’t to say that I don’t speak to Jackson, I go out of my way to talk things over and explain what is going on around us, but there is definitely a difference in our topics. Most often, I only remember to talk when there is something that needs to be communicated- information that should be shared. I will ask Jackson to “please stay on the sidewalk love, the street is dangerous” but I have a hard time thinking of things to say like, “Do you see that ball? Isn’t it a pretty ball? It’s blue, it’s a blue ball.” Don’t get me wrong, repetition is absolutely how children learn, and I’m not knocking it. I just have a seriously hard time thinking of what to say when I know I should be saying something, anything.

This doesn’t even just apply to children, I’m the same way with the adults around me. I have a select few people that I can talk to for hours. However, if I’m with someone I don’t know as well or if I’m not well acquainted with the subject matter, my brain shuts off until it has information to communicate again. Small talk just doesn’t come easily; but in our society, it’s imperative that I’m able to do it. It lubricates the gears of friendships, business, etc.

Thankfully, I do have my few that I communicate well with, but I want to train my mind to be better at this with the broader population. So, while I would really prefer to pop in my headphones and fold laundry or go on a long walk, I will take this activity laden weekend and use it for the fantastic opportunity it is.

And then I’m going to go to sleep early, because man, I am SO TIRED.


And then there are times I can’t shut up

Photo by my incredible sister

Quiet Time: Introversion

Wow the past few days have flown by. Even though everything we’ve done since the weekend has been completely amazing, I am feeling so worn out and it’s only Tuesday. I am seriously craving some quiet time.

Over the past few years I’ve been seeing more coverage on introverts. Maybe it’s just because I finally put a term to my personality and being aware of that made me more aware in general, or perhaps it’s just a subject getting more press time. I first noticed it after reading the book Quiet, and have since seen references throughout the articles, blogs, and oddly enough- memes.

A coworker sent this to me as a joke but only in the “nailed it” kinda of way

All in all it seems like there are two major courses that these media forms take on the subject. The first is the perpetuating of the stereotype “I really just want to be alone,” and the other is the rally cry “introverts are just as awesome as extroverts” (the latter of these is why I wasn’t a huge fan of Quiet). I get both- we really do like our quiet time. Also mainstream society, at least in the US, really does push the extrovert tendencies (and the bold personality). But introverts are pretty awesome- we’re not going to waste 2 hours of your day in some bull**** meeting. These are the facts and this is what we need to do. You’re welcome.

Of course, we’re not all one in the same. I love being around one or two people that I know well: less and I’m lonely, more and after a few hours I need a nap. I wear earplugs to do any kind of work that needs focus (side note: how can people concentrate when they have music on, especially with singing?! It boggles my mind). I have an incredibly hard time talking about a subject that doesn’t interest me or don’t feel like I can contribute to. I’m sure there have been dozens of times that I’ve come across as rude simply because I drew a complete blank when trying to make small talk with a stranger. Just white space and the hum of silence…

Sorry stranger- it’s not you, it’s definitely me.

So I’m glad that introverts are getting more press time- if they actually are that is. If not, carry on nonetheless.

Have you seen more coverage about introversion in the past few years? Do you identify at all with some of the introvert characteristics, or do you think it’s all kind of ridiculous since no one can be all or nothing? Do you like to hide in your office? Also- does not being able to listen to music while you work actually an introversion thing? I mostly just included it because it involves people singing and my brain can’t process both the information coming through my ears and that coming from my eyes.


Stepping aside from this rambling word slew, I still have two posts from this weekend that I’m still brewing on. They were particularly awesome events and I want to give it a worthy post, so I really don’t want to rush it just to get it out there, but they are coming. And I’m kind of proud of one in particular so you should definitely check back in a few days.